As a wife and mother, I have often received advice to take time for myself. It can be very refreshing and can prepare you to dive right back into motherly and wifely duties. OR, if a woman is not careful, it can lead to self-indulgence, selfishness, and self-pity. Its really easy to slip into the pattern of taking time for yourself- the lifestyle of taking time for yourself. Doing "nice" things for yourself, to make you feel good and forget your worries, can easily get out of hand. (I'm not talking about exercising-unless its done for vanity's sake.) The Bible tells all Christians, moms included, to spend our time and resources in a godly way. So, what would a biblical wife and mother look like?
A while back, I quickly put the verses of Proverbs 31 into categories to weigh the habits of a virtuous woman. I am no Bible scholar, so with that in mind, this is what I came up with...
feeding the family-13,15
clothing the family-13,21
laboring for the family/not being lazy or weak-13,14,15,16,17,18,19,24,25,27,31
good deeds/character-20,25,26,30
blessing/help to her husband-11,12,23
HERSELF-22(clothed)
results of her virtues-28,29,30,31,10
I found that her worth was embedded in being a servant with her life. Only one verse tells about this model of a woman doing anything for herself. And no verse speaks of her external beauty. In today's society, if a wife is not up with the latest fashions she is said to have "let herself go". It can be a good thing to "let ourselves go" in a sense, so we don't get in the way of the work the Lord has for us. I'm no beauty queen, so it is not too difficult for me to spend only a small amount of time and money on my appearance. But it is difficult for me to give all my time and energy for what seems like endless household tasks that pop right back up before me as soon as I'm done! I could be doing so many other things!-or nothing at all! I am already so selfish with my time, I don't need anyone encouraging me to do less work.
I have to admit, I have a long way to go to even begin to look like this woman. But I'll NEVER get there if I make a habit of "taking time for myself," in a worldly sense, rather making a habit of giving my time to serve my family and others. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it. I better get started.
OH, boy. That was a very good post. Good reminder to me, you are absolutely right. We find our life by losing it. But yes, it is a huge struggle to accept that we as moms are *never* done. I think I could work 24-7 and never be done with all that ought to be done!
ReplyDeleteProbably the only worthy "me time" activity would be time with the Lord, but even that must often be shared with the children! Yet I've decided that it's okay...God gave the children, so he gave the chaos too. I decided it's better to embrace it than to run from it. At that point, the joy comes. :}
Isn't it amazing how the Bible changes us, and helps us to grow?
God Bless you!